Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

“He did too much LDS back in the Sixties.”

~ James T. Kirk on Spock

“Go forth and multiply!”

~ Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on The Meaning of Life

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the official mascot for the Church of Later Day Saints, a satirical parody of the Roman Catholic Church (as if the Catholics weren't funny enough). He is essentially the same as regular Jesus, only he happens to be blonde and 100% pure, red-blooded American (not to be confused with Stephen Colbert). Disgruntled fans consider him an Expanded Universe addition only, and discount that Jesus ever had blonde hair, since he was a Palestinian Jew and all.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Holocaust Was Really Big Gay Jew Sex Party

• UnNews:Chupacabras latest pet craze

• UnNews:Heaven to be outsourced

• UnNews:Dinesh D'souza on the real problem with Newtonism

• UnNews:Ireland Bans Clerical Child Sex Abuse

• UnNews:Limbo closes, millions homeless

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao.”

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnostic - Boristany - Confucianism - Damnation - Eggnogsticism - Freedom of speech - God-Fearing Republicans - Haruhiism - Ignatius of Loyola - Jesus Christ - Alcoholic - Khalil Gibran - Landover Baptist Church - Mugabetheism - Noddy - Pope Peter - Quakerism - Reasons to become an Atheist - Solid Gold - The Holy Goh - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Why?:They Hate Us? - XBible 360 - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Baal - Church of Buffy - Discalced Carmelites - Eucharist - Fitna - Gah - Hedgehog - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Ramayana - Smart - Tao - U2 - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini