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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Henry Kissinger

Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Rastadon

The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

June 6: Cat Polishing Day

6666 BCE - Happy Birthday, Satan!
6665 BCE - Happy Birthday, Santa!
6 CE - Computer geeks begin to worry about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the end times and the birth of Anti-Jesus.
1670 - The fourth dimension is discovered in Detroit.
1671 - The scientist who discovered the fourth dimension dies inside it.
1689 - The Bastille is stormed but the mob are told they're 100 years and a month too early.
1690 - The person who wrote the above entry rebuilds it.
1900 - Centennial celebration of dinner time.
1946 - George W. Bush hits the US (with a big fucking stick).
1966 - Overpolishing of cats results in the creation of the Sphynx breed.
1987 - The physical embodiment of the god of whores is born in a small general hospital in London to a family with too many cats.
1998 - Satan builds the Flux capacitor, but nobody seems to care.
1999 - The Millennium Dome sneaks off to the Bell and Dragon in Bath for a pint.
2001 - John The Baptist meets Jesus in the local Blue Peter Bring & Buy sale. He opts to buy the cross Jesus is carrying, but turns it down in favour of a My Little Pony annual.
2006 - The day of Satan, and my ex-wife's birthday! Coincidence?
2008 - Satan decides to put off Armageddon to celebrate his birthday with his cats.